1 year since graduation

Here's a draft of a post I made on the 29th of March 2017. Back then I was stuck in the IB, toiling away for exams and cramming in a lot of time to make artwork for, and set up, my IB art exhibition. Now, I have a couple weeks left of uni and am again suck here, toiling away for exams that matter only to myself. I've somehow convinced myself that these exams, which I only need to pass and have no impact on my final grade for my degree, are extremely important and if I don't get a first I won't get into grad school. So here I am. Working. And sick. 

I really did think I was gonna become a person again once I got the IB out of my system. I think that's only partially true. There are more days where I don't feel human than days where I do. And I don't know if I'm ever going to get out of this sluggish soulless feeling. It just feels like I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life. 

Let's see how I did with these goals that I had. 

Mubi

I did this, but there were these really weird problems with my Internet. It would keep buffering every 2 seconds even though all other websites (including other streaming stuff like Netflix) were fine. I reported it to Mubi but they didn't do anything about it and eventually I cancelled my account because it was super expensive and I was getting nothing out of it. In any case Gabriel has a free account for being a film student, so I can still access it. I haven't watched anything on it though. I think the only films I saw on it were Being John Malkovich (twice) and Cléo de 5 à 7, which was actually back in Geneva where the Internet wasn't weird.

Wardrobe

So this didn't happen. I guess it was too much wishful thinking. I have a collection of around 20 T-shirts and 4 pairs of jeans that I kind of just cycle around, but also a bunch of summery stuff and dresses and jackets. I do want to do this though, because packing up for the holidays is such a pain. I have no idea how I ended up with so many clothes to be honest. 10 things??? How did I ever think I was going to manage that? That would've been just living on 5 pairs of jeans and 5 shirts. Although that would be fine if I actually did my laundry. I'd still like to try this out to make space for other stuff.

Start jogging

Nope.

French

I'm on the mailing list for the Swiss society but their events seem boring and intimidating and full of German speaking people. I am doing a language exchange with a friend though, and we speak Mandarin and French together. So yay? 

Museum

God I am so sick of the Ashmolean. Get me away....

Eyebrows

Didn't have the energy to look up tutorials, buy products. I don't even wear eyeliner every day. Would still like to do this though, especially now that my glasses shape has changed and I feel I would benefit from stronger eyebrows. 

Legolas

In this economy??? Having to pack it up all the time and stuff?? My full-length mirror is already indulgent enough, thanks. 

Bicycles

So I was really down to do this, but once I arrived in Oxford I just delayed buying a bike for days and days. Now I just don't want one. This happens to me a lot: really wanting to do something and then just not doing it and then just giving up. But it usually applies to, like, taking a shower (and studying). 

High school acquaintances

This has been pretty successful but I haven't found the uni replacements that I wanted. I have some really good friends at uni but you can't replicate that feeling of having known someone for years because, well, you haven't. 

Novel

Nope. No time. No energy. 

Translation

Nope. No time. No energy.

Learn and grow

I hope so????