mardi 28 mars 2017

More Fanon so I can pretend to be an intellectual

I have the On Violence chapter of The Wretched of the Earth bookmarked and I think I started reading it in January, but here is some more stuff that is really interesting:

 

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The Man in the High Castle

"Their view; it is cosmic. Not a man here, a child there, but an abstraction: race, land. Volk. Land. Blut. Ehre. Not of honorable men but of Ehre itself, honor; the abstract is real, the actual is invisible to them. Die Güte, but not good men, this good man. It is their sense of space and time. They see through the here, the now, into the vast black deep beyond, the unchanging. And that is fatal to life. Because eventually there will be no life; there was once only the dust particles in space, the hot hydrogen gases, nothing more, and it will come again. This is an interval, ein Augenblick. The cosmic process is hurrying on, crushing life back into the granite and methane; the wheel turns for all life. It is all temporary. And these – these madmen – respond to the granite, the dust, the longing of the inanimate; they want to aid Natur."

mercredi 22 mars 2017

Digging up old photos

I just found some photos from September 2015 onwards on my external hard drive and just dumping some pics I particularly like here...


Is there anything better than violently stormy clouds / the really loud clash rumble clap of thunder that follows a flash of lightning so fast you barely have time to register it, and only remember in hindsight after having heard the thunder?


This has such a Windows XP wallpaper vibe.


The following are from Bombannes - a week-long trip our year took. It was really fun and we did catamaran which was super cool and it was so pretty. It was good even though I developed arachnophobia due to being in close contact with spiders near my face, including having one on my neck at one point.







Before Francesco's fashion sense underwent a revolution. I love this, it's so cute.




Damn I looked good here... This was back when I still had some hope and optimism. What happened to that coat? My hair was so straight... look at me now. My hair is in the shape of Darth Vader's helmet right now.


Don't know why this is here because it's from March 2015 but it was a fun friendship while it lasted.


So #dramatiqué.... I love! 

Oh well that's it actually. A lot of the pictures in this folder are photos taken for my process portfolio in Art (which is now due in... 12 days... yikes.) A lot of CAS evidence and so on. I was so diligent back then. 






mardi 21 mars 2017

Characters I really like for no reason


This is actually kind of an ugly character to look at (it looks cooler in traditional 蘇) but for some reason I really like the way it sounds, it's so elegant and pretty. I think this probably comes from the fact that it's the last name of Maggie Cheung's character in In the Mood for Love and maybe also because of Hu Ge in Nirvana in Fire (but NOT because of "哦~我亲爱的苏"), I don't know why but it's just such a nice word. But it also kind of reminds me of boiled vegetables, which isn't as fun. I like to think of it as lush Rousseau foliage.


Even though this character is part of 过敏, the word for allergies, I really like it. I like the sound of it too. I like that it's the 3rd tone. This would also be good in a name but you have to do it well. I associate it with the moon, or mooncakes. Something very refined and feminine. 

Okay, I thought this was the mu in the family name Murong (I love 2-character family names they're so cool) but it isn't. I still like it though. It's the mu in 穆念慈, who is actually a character I don't really like, but it just makes such a nice sound, very... 浓... saturated? A very saturated, full sound. I like the 禾 radical in there. It's a milky white character. 

Hello stranger!

I watched Moonlight on Sunday and now I'm listening to the song Hello Stranger again and anyway there's nothing I can say about this film except what is the point of anything knowing that a film better than this might never be made again in my lifetime and this is it... This is Cinema and just relistening to the songs I can remember the film, it's a film that's as expressive in the things it leaves unsaid as in the moments it chooses to show! A film that felt so familiar like an old friend when I watched it, so sweet and so kind and so brutal beneath that beautiful façade of gentleness and elegance.... So exquisite and perfect and those Wong Kar-wai influences got the old man stressin' in his greasy sunglasses

When I die bury me in wistful arthouse violin soundtracks that are so short they hurt me (x) (x) !!!

Remember when chapter iii started and Chiron was so different and confident but then he picked up the phone and it was Kevin and he melted away and he was just that little boy again so shy so tender oh my oh my oh my .... Oh My!!!!!!!!!!

If a shot of a flock of birds taking flight against stormy skies was emotionally and aesthetically converted into 111 minutes of audiovisual ecstasy & agony this would be it

dimanche 12 mars 2017

Notes from when I had no internet for 25 hours (the horror! the horror!)

If I look at the stars for too long it starts to freak me out

Tonight the moon is huge, it's a massive glowing white orb dangling in the sky like a moist rolling eyeball, its light emanating into a halo around it, unclear and seeping into misty black skies

The world is full of white noise like a rushing river or some kind of engine that turns forever without stopping or the wind that blows gently or maybe a plane

In the sky I can only recognise orion's belt with its three aligned dots but i think about how the light im looking at is millions of light years old and for all we know these stars have all gone out and are dead right now, theyre being destroyed, but we dont know because we're looking into the past, it's like that doctor who episode except the people on earth could actually track the disappearance of the stars, i dont know whats worse, knowing or not knowing, does knowing make it better, does not knowing make it easier.

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The room was full of smoke and I had to put it out. We filled grimy glasses with water and splashed them onto the logs. They sizzled and spat ash everywhere. Eventually the sparks all went out and the air was filled with the scent of fresh bread. I thought of this prehistoric place we went to in year 7. It was a little camp thing in the middle of nowhere with two huge teepees and you could do prehistoric activities like scavenging ingredients for soup and twisting rope. I remember that's how the fireplace at that place smelled like. The man said you could use the ashes for toothpaste.

After the embers went out the logs continued to crackle softly. They made low, wet whistling sounds, like children sucking on the inside of their cheeks.

samedi 11 mars 2017

Logan

So human. So real. Relentless. Unforgiving. Crude. Beautiful. Heartbreaking. Human. 

I cried, not sobbing and choking like a baby whose heart has been smashed, but softly and gently because my heart was slowly dissolved in a sizzling beaker of acid over 2 hours and 21 minutes, disintegrating into nothing not unlike Caliban's skin under sunlight.



This is my favorite poster for this film. Because even though the movie is called Logan, it's not about Logan. Or not only about Logan. 

I've been thinking about the line We are the dead from Nineteen Eighty-Four lately, this is a story about the dead, about past generations giving their all to new generations, about the end of an era, about heroes past their expiry date, about degeneration and deterioration and age, crumbling age with all its unpleasantness. The screeching sounds of desperation Laura makes every time her claws go through someone's face and the roaring sounds of pain and irritation Logan makes every time his claws through someone's face –– both are so sad, so full of anger and frustration, so tired of all this shit but there's no other way out. It's a Western, with rumbling engines and orange desert expanses and a high noon showdown with your own shadow. It's a story about the hope we invest in children, the hope we have for the future, the sacrifices we have to make to get there. It's a story about Mexican immigrants and the bad guy's name is Donald. It's a story about mutants, who aren't technically human, but it's just. so. human.

vendredi 10 mars 2017

Things I Like #7

- birdsong
- rumbling loud crashing thunder
- when you're listening to music and you take off your earphones / leave the room for a while without pausing, but continue singing the song in your head, and when you return to your music it matches up perfectly
- fresh, thick, untouched white snow, sparkling under the sunlight
- Migros ice tea

dimanche 5 mars 2017

Hélas, sans titre!

Le pire c'est le fait que récemment une grande partie de mes fautes en maths c'est à cause de l'arithmétique! Au lieu de faire -3 fois -16 je fais -3 plus -16 ou je mets x comme y et y comme z et z comme x!! C'est comme les SAT l'année passé quoi.

En plus je viens de rechercher la conjugaison du verbe mettre. C'est comme si les choses les plus simples de la vie que j'avais appris quand j'était petite partent. Remplacées par quoi? Des truc machins cartésiens en trois dimensions? Des numéros invisibles? C'est pas comme si je serai ingénieur. Mais quand même le maths c'est beau. C'est dur mais c'est beau.

Un autre truc hyper frustrant c'est que de plus en plus la ligne verticale qui clignote pour montrer où t'es en train de taper tes mots sur Blogger a arrêté de clignoter. Quand je clique autre part elle ne bouge plus. Donc en fait j'arrête pas de taper des mots dans les endroits où ils sont pas censés être.

J'ai l'impression d'être hypochondriaque. Est-ce que c'est le même mot en Français qu'en Anglais? Bref, je vais présumer l'affirmatif, car on m'a pas mit un trait rouge en dessous du mot quand je l'ai écrit. La semaine passée je suis allée à l'orthodontiste et on m'a dit que je devais enlever mes dents de sagesse. Il n'y avait pas encore un problème, mais il y aurait dans le futur. (Wouah, je viens d'utiliser le futur antérieur, non? #Sophistication...) Mais toute la semaine passée j'avais la sensation que ma dent de sagesse d'en haut à gauche commençait à ressortir. Le mercredi ou jeudi en mangeant mon dîner une partie de ma gencive commençait à avoir mal. Enfin, pas mal... mais j'étais hyper consciente de sa présence. Et c'était comme ça pendant toute la journée vendredi. J'étais sûre qu'elle allait sortir. Mais là c'est dimanche et je ne sens plus rien. Tout est retourné au normal. (à normal? au normal?)

J'allais écrire plus sur le fait que mon corps a toujours mal quelque part mystérieux pour des courts moments, mais ça me soule de continuer d'écrire, il faut que je retourne à mes exercices de maths. Peut-être un jour l'histoire de mes peines inconnues sera racontée...

Je viens de me rappeler du fait qu'en janvier 2015 j'suis allée acheter Le petit prince et j'ai fait une vidéo où j'ai traduit le début en Anglais genre, simultanément quoi. Je voyait en Français et je parlait en Anglais. Je me demande si j'ai toujours la vidéo, mais j'ai la flemme d'aller chercher. C'était assez cool quoi. J'aimerais bien devenir traductrice. Je pense pas pouvoir faire Anglais-Français parce que j'ai pas assez d'expérience littéraire en Français, mais Français-Anglais j'suis pas mal.

Nombre de fois que j'ai utilisé Google Translate pour trouver un mot en Français depuis l'Anglais: 2

vendredi 3 mars 2017

Odorat

Hier soir en sortant du cours de Chinois je me suis rendu compte que toute la rue sentait la menthe fraîche, comme du thé marocain. Après quelques pas l'odeur a changé et est devenu quelque chose de sucré et doux, comme du yaourt à la cerise. C'était bien.

mercredi 1 mars 2017

Songs this month #2

I've been listening to the Cello 50 playlist on Spotify all month. I love the cello. It's so soothing. If I ever have children I would highly encourage them to play the cello. It's just such an elegant and beautiful instrument. Not as weird as oboe or bassoon, but not as mainstream as piano or violin. This piece gets me jammin'. It's so exquisite and then it gets really loud and intense and amazing.
This song is so emo. I love it. MCR's first album is not appreciated enough. I've been listening to MCR a lot lately when I work on stuff for art, because I'm so used to the music that it just becomes background noise, which helps me focus.
I can't believe this is actually her voice. It just sounds so unreal. But I watched an unplugged version of "Better" and she talks normally (in a very cool Singaporean accent) then when she starts singing it's like... how...? I really like this song and the music video is really aesthetic. She sings about how she's totally over her ex and his new girlfriend is really lame, but it's obvious she's still really hurt, so in that way the lyrics are cool.
Is calling Mr. Hsiao by his Wade-Giles (beurk) name better than acknowledging that his English name is Jam, as in confiture? (Or does he pronounce it "jaym" like some kind of heathen?) I'd use pinyin, but his last name being spelled as Hsiao has already been established so it would be weird and inconsistent. His band, Lion (which is a very mediocre band name with a very ugly logo. Its official color is bright orange, for God's sake), is in this year's 我是歌手 (or whatever it's called now that Korean-imprint shows have been banned) and one of their performances was a cover of this Wang Feng song, which I liked so much that I actually ripped the audio from Youtube and stuck it in my playlist. That's dedication right there. ... Okay, I won't lie, I made a playlist of around 20 of his best songs and listened to it a lot this month. I spiralled back into the 10th circle of hell: Jam Hsiao.
I looked up Devendra Banhart and his music is so cute. But this song is just the cutest. It's so pure, and clear. Like a spring morning by the seaside in the 1930s with your betrothed.