mood

Chopin's Nocturne in C sharp minor Op. posthumous

I didn't make a "songs this month" post because April wasn't really much of a listening month (oh wait... Kendrick Lamar's DAMN and Joey Bada$$'s All Amerikkkan Badass or whatever it's called both came out this month and they were both amazing........ please give them a listen. Joey Badass' stuff was kinda cool it sounded old school, not that I know anything about old school hip hop, but I don't know, just like the lyrics and the structure sounded very classic and like... it was nice. I'm not very good at talking about this since I'm very ignorant though.)

I've been listening to this new playlist I made of Chopin's Nocturnes and Mendelssohn's Songs without words and whenever I study I put it on because it's music I've heard a thousand times. I used to only really recognise songs I've played before, but I've listened to Mendelssohn so much (he's my 3rd top played artist at almost 1000 plays since August 2014) that every one of his pieces make me go "that's so familiar! I've played this piece before!" when I've only played one before but now I don't know which one it is anymore. One of the Venetian Gondola pieces.

Whenever this Nocturne comes up it makes my heart swell a little (it's mainly the little trills and then that fall after them... that is so my thing). It has such story to it I think. There's a melancholy aspect that I'm always down for but it also has more uplifting parts. It feels like the kind of song you'd play in the car and the camera is focused on the passing landscape (rolling Yorkshire hills à la David Hockney, but with a grey sky) from the passenger window and the person sitting in the passenger seat is moving their hand around slowly... maybe the window is open and they're letting the breeze trail their fingers. And the people in the car are on their way to somewhere vague and they're just talking about life and the passenger closes their eyes and smells that fresh air, the way it smells a couple hours before it's going to rain. And when the arpeggios (oh god I haven't played piano in a year is that what they're called) happen in the end they arrive at their destination and this is the day they fall in love.

I've been so romantic lately!!! I think it's because I watched both Paterson and Moonlight and La La Land and those are some of the most romantic films I've ever seen in my life.

There are birds tweeting really loudly and brashly. I can hear them even though I'm playing music and all the doors are closed. They're almost as annoying as when you wake up on the International Award hike at 5:50 AM and watch the daylight stream in through your musty tent and just lie there in your damp little sleeping bag, listening to that stupid morning bird go "huhu! hu! huhu! ... huhu! hu! huhu!" over and over again, like, doesn't it ever get tired? I would if I did nothing but that for three hours. Then you'd clamber out of the tent and put on your dirty shoes and socks and walk through that crunchy grass imbued with heavy dew and go take a piss, all the while shivering and terrified something is going to attack you and this is how you're gonna go... bare butt. I actually heard that same bird again a couple of weeks ago out of the blue somewhere and it took me immediately back to those moments. It's so vivid for me.